Thursday, October 12, 2006

My first blog

My first blog - This is how people usually start their first blogs. But I am not going to do it, because this is not my first blog. I have some LLOGS - Local Logs, which have not gone into any blog sites. May be, you can have in a different way - this is my first official blog on a proper blog site...

Anyway, enough of all the self-praises about myself ( I know it is self-praise. After all, self-realisation is the first step towards attaining higher levels of personality, right? ;-) )

Live in the Present - I strive to have this as my theme, motto, principle, of life, or whatever you call it, or any other crap also, if you please so...Does it, in any nearest horizons, sound something meaningful? Many a time, I keep reading it, and sometimes, get lost in finding out the exact meaning of this phrase. I feel its too philosophical, sometimes.

But a little deeper insight into this - an insight that requires a very normal mind, may be, something very normal like mine - will lead you into a dense convulsions of your thoughts, struggling to figure out the intricacies of this phrase. Just concentrate for a minute on your awesome thought process. You will find out that your mind is either thinking about yesterdays' happenings...Ranging from your official chores like, Have I filled in my timesheet? Have I delivered the code? Will the cheque I posted yesterday get cleared or will there be any issues? Or, your personal commitments like, Will he think about my words otherwise? Will I create a false impression on my friend because of the words I spoke yesterday? etc etc...The list goes on...(The word etc reminds me of a comment - "etc - A word that people use to show that they know more than they actually say". But, the etc I have given above explains itself in the sense that, we are daily victims of the many events that are camouflaged behind this "etc"...)

Or, to feed forward, your mind thinks about tomorrow..."When is the next release? How many bugs are going to be assigned in my name? How will my partner be like? ... And even here, etc is no exception :-)

But, seldom does the mind think about this current second. The clock ticks every second, and the mind races like a very fast cheetah behind the time, thinking about the future, and mosquito coils flash back into the past. And, in this process, the poor present is in soup.
Everytime I think about this phrase, I try to concentrate on this moment, but this pendulum-like mind keeps oscillating between the past and the future, and most of the times, I fail :-(
I am still trying and trying and trying...Let's see when this trial comes to an end...Will it, at all?
In a couple of those instances when I succeeded in my attempt, I find that it is an awesome experience - not worrying about the future and not feeling guilty of the past - Just getting aligned with the second-hand of the clock gives you so much fulfillment, which I cannot explain but should be experienced...